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You Sail Away (Mu) 21 October, 2009

Posted by silentpyjamas in poem-tree.
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A followup to this poem (it’s really from here, the short link was just because I was too lasy to copy the long one).

A sky so blue
Echoed only in the blue of the sea
And your eyes

You came a-sailing
I forgot the rules
I should have burned my flags

I saw your smile in the summer sun
So open and warm
Where could be any harm?
The wonders you’ve shown
And the seeds that you’ve sown
Turn the wheel and sail away

I’m used to all the solitude
Me and the fishes
Me and the birds

The outside world is fraught with danger
The kind they warn about
The kind that hurts

I wish I never heard of the summer sun
I prefer the night breeze
Whispering through the trees
The silence is stark
With me here in the dark
Watch the stars and sail away

I believe you’ll be guided by the summer sun
To the place of your dreams
Hope it is what it seems
Brave sailor you’ve found
What is forbidden ground
Turn your back and sail away


without even the words 17 May, 2007

Posted by silentpyjamas in poem-tree.

without even the words
to tell myself how i feel
my hands are fists on the wall
bricks and blood and animal sounds
i can hardly breathe
i haven’t cried so much in so long
if i want to stop it inside
i have to stop it on the outside
i keep trying to shut the door but it won’t close
besides i can see you through the windows
my nails
what nails
can’t claw hard enough
can’t dig a hole fast enough to bury myself in
i love you
i hate you
i love you
i hate you
i’m sorry, i have to turn around
because i can’t stand hear your words
and only see your back
maybe we should whisper
or not speak at all
i can tear down the vines but the ivy will keep growing
until i destroy the root
i hate you
i hate you
oh, i hate you so much
i wish i didn’t love you
and maybe wish i never had

a poem i made up 24 April, 2007

Posted by silentpyjamas in poem-tree.

a long time ago. it doesn’t have a name. and i was stoned when i wrote it. looking at a cat sitting down. here it is.

cats, when they’re fat look like cellos from the back
but when they’re thin they look like violins

i hoe you enjoyed that.

it’s christmas again: things die in the winter 24 December, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in poem-tree.
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goodbye old year
goodbye old me
we’ve both changed.

grown a little colder
grown a little older
gone places we can’t come back from.

time only goes one way
and in the chill i wonder
what i could have done differently.

can’t get it back
can’t call forth those days again
where is the summer sun now?

wish i could stop time
just for a moment
live in the right here right now.

keep this moment
this uncertainty
from blossoming into whatever it will be.

i’m perched
on the cusp
of becoming someone else.

goodbye old year.

goodbye old me.

hello, the future
take me away from here
take me away.

MY SISTER HAS A BLOG! (shout-out to the girl mechanic!) 19 November, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, blather and claptrap, poem-tree, shout-outs, stuff and nonsense.

now you guys can read all about my sister’s automotive adventures on her blog. i harassed her for like months to get this blog, because she has such great stories from her work and i love it when she talks about cars. she also could get more women to feel good and even confident about dealing with their cars. she’s pretty passionate about cars and about people being knowledgeable about their vehicles. so far, every story is funny but i do like the one about the hose.

also i found this in the list of search terms for my blog:
“poems to tell someone your pregnant”

and in the interest of helping this person, should they happen to be searching again tonight, or to help anyone, really, who needs such a poem, i present “Pregnant.”

Roses are red
Violets are blue
One of us is pregnant
And it isn’t you.

i hope i’ve been helpful.

you sail away (atlantis) 31 October, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, poem-tree, stuff and nonsense.

i saw your flag when you were still miles away
didn’t mean a thing
sat on my hill and found a better thing to do

stepped on my shores then i had too much to say
meant all too much
should have thought more about it

the water’s so wide
the water’s so deep
couldn’t have better than life as an island

so i stand with my face to the summer sun
there are lies in my eyes and i say it’s the spray
it’s easy the leaving it’s harder to stay
and i watch you sail away

the best spyglass is the one made with my hands
though i can’t see a thing
just means i don’t have to know what’s there

can’t have an hourglass if it’s empty of sand
that’s the point
it’s always right now and tomorrow is not at hand

the water’s so blue
the water’s so clear
can’t imagine it any other way so i will never leave

so i turn away from the summer sun
and i fear and i dread that the water i tread
will give me away it is blooming with red
as i watch you sail away

i seem to remember the summer sun
the dive that i take and the smile that i fake
through the choke and the shake as i drown in your wake

i heard once of something called the summer sun
it’s not hard to be brave underneath of the waves
don’t believe what you hear
there was no island here
fold your map and sail away

ohh it was a cuuute irc moment 14 October, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, stuff and nonsense.
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[02:35] <patbam> o.O.oO0Oo.o0O0ooo.o…
[02:36] <patbam> i drored a worm.
[02:36] <silentpyjamas> aww
[02:36] <silentpyjamas> so cuuute
[02:37] <patbam> …o.ooo0O0o.oO0Oo.O.o
[02:37] <patbam> it is going back home now.
[02:37] <patbam> …o.ooo0O0o.oO0Oo.O.o
[02:37] <silentpyjamas> heeheeh
[02:37] <silentpyjamas> ❤
[02:37] <patbam> (bye)> …o.ooo0O0o.oO0Oo.O.o
[02:37] <silentpyjamas> bye bye mr wormy
[02:38] <patbam> …o.oo
[02:38] <patbam> .

Alex Ionescu Has a Dream Today 11 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, inflammatory!, stuff and nonsense.

[15:40] <@Alex_Ionescu> I HAVE A DREAM
[15:40] <@Alex_Ionescu> CAN BOOT A FOSS OS
[15:40] <silentpyjamas> HAhA YES ALEX, YES!
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> a dream where black children from all nations
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> and all walks of life
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> do not spend their lunch money
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> on windows licenses
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> but on LUNCH!
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> Though I walk through the valley of propretiary products
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> I will fear NO CODE
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> NO LAWSUIT
[15:42] <silentpyjamas> YEAS!
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> and NO CORPORATION
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> will shun my dreams and hopeS!
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> ARE YOU WITH ME
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> ARE YOU WITH ME??????
[15:42] <silentpyjamas> YESSS-AHHH
[15:42] *** EmuandCo changed nick to BillGates
[15:43] * +BillGates shoots at Alex_Ionescu
[15:43] * @Alex_Ionescu becomes a national symbol and martyr

We love you, Alex Ionescu. For freeing us from the binding chains of closed-source, corporate-controlled software. We love you Alex, because you will let us indulge in our urge to use windows programs without using Windows.

Seriously, come out and support your local Free, Open Source Software. ReactOS is being nurtured and grown so that people who don’t use Linux and BeOS and MacOS will not have to change their entire lifestyles and the programs they use just to avoid having to be treated like a stepchild by a company that, yes, is made to make a profit but at the same time is dominating the software industry in an unhealthy way. It’s still mostly nascent, but even if you can’t run it yet, come for the things you can learn and the people that hang out in there. You might even find it in yourself to fight the good fight!

(This has been a shout out to ReactOS. You can find this marvelous Alex Ionescu at irc.freenode.net #reactos. And don’t forget to visit the ReactOS website and check out those glorious screenshots!)

myspace 9 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in stuff and nonsense.
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i have this myspace.  it’s so weird because i really only signed up for it at first to look at someone’s photos.  then my friends Nic and Rob found me on it, then my sister got one, i learned my stepdad had one, i found out other people i knew had them, and now i have sixteen whole friends.  today a very old friend from school found me.  this is a friend with whom i spent many happy hours making up weird sci fi and fantasy stories, listening to great music, and generally avoiding my dad when i could.  every time i would go to her house, i would accidentally break a refrigerator magnet on her mother’s fridge.  she had really *nice* magnets too.  oy.

so, this myspace thing is cool enough when it’s about keeping track of my friends.  i was going to use the myspace blog but land sakes knows i have enough blogs.  i was thinking of linking from my myspace blog to this one but then i thought, you know what?  maybe not.  maybe i won’t, because while i know that anyone can stumble across this pile of nonsense randomly, i don’t want to point anyone (like my stepdad) here.  not that there’s anything he shouldn’t read really, it’s just that i guess some of this stuff is like, the kind of personal that’s perfectly fine to share with strangers.

maybe that doesn’t make any sense.

so what’s new in my life?  well, this and that i  guess.  i’m hanging out with alex at the parental units’ house.  they’re getting their kitchen window replaced as it’s very close to the pool and the coating that was on the glass when they first got the house has been cooked off by the sun.  if the window breaks the pool will likely be unusable until draining and cleaning, glass in the water and all.  it’s not *right* next to the pool but it’s about 5 feet away and we’ve got to be safe.  so it’s tempered glass for the kitchen window!

i’m watching a show about caligula.  this is certainly very interesting.  i’ve learned a lot about him in the past few years and one thing i have found is that nobody is really a monster.  well, there are people who are monsters, but nobody just starts out that way.  caligula, known for his excesses and cruelty, was shaped by his past.  that doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it is something to think of someone like caligula suffering pain which made him in turn deliver it.  he could have absolutely chosen not to behave in such a way, but he didn’t.  i wonder, though, if his past had been different would he have been?

it’s that kind o thing that makes me afraid sometimes.  what is the line between influence and conscious decision?  my past was rough, and it has shaped me into someone who is deathly afraid of her anger and her dark side and afraid she will do something screwed up.  i wonder if there’s some point where i could learn to revel in cruelty or something.  i have seen hints of that in myself but they’re very scary.

i’d like to think i’m a pretty decent person though.  mom says i always put myself last. i’d like to be more selfish.  seriously.   oddly enough, i feel very selfish.

hmm what else.  i have no idea.  more as i think of it, but i doubt it will be so creepily pensive.  i always get like that when i see something thoughtful on the tv.  when i’m reading something thoughtful i don’t have time for blogging, i’m too busy reading lol.

the right time 6 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, poem-tree, stuff and nonsense.
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when is it ever the right time
to tell someone you love them
or to tell them that you hate them
or, “i’m pregnant”
when is the right time to say
“i have to talk to you about something”
it never feels like the right time
but time is not a feeling
or even a thing, it’s a force
time can take from you what you value most
or it can give you something you never expected
time is funny like that
in a minute, once a year, tomorrow, tonight, every half an hour
today monday, yesterday, this day, that day
when is the right time
to take the time
to say what you feel you can’t
or feel you can
but don’t know how
time is slippery
time will get away from you
or hunt you down
time is unpredictable
you are unpredictable
we can barely know ourselves beyond this moment
i might be someone else in a second
or perhaps already am
this is the right time
this is the right time to say what you feel
say what you want
say what you hate/love/desire/dream of/fear/need/wonder about/doubt
this is the right time
don’t waste a moment
time is only on its own side