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JERKS PART 2 a little codicil (or whatever) to my little story about Polly and the jerks 13 December, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, inflammatory!.
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i’m going to go ahead here and say the word of the day is expediency. you may think i am a jerk myself for writing a story in which the moral is “hey nice guys, don’t blame the honest jerks for stealing away all the women, blame the jerks in disguise.”

you can’t really blame a woman for wanting to hook up with a jerk. i say, though, that you can blame her for the quality of the jerk. my personal jerk, for instance, is captain asshole. now i haven’t seen him in *months* but if i bumped into him it would be just like old times. incidentally, he was a jerk pretending to be a nice guy, but after a term of being nice, he went full-on jerk and no longer pretended to be a good guy. i say, you GO captain asshole. why can’t there be more honest jerks? i always ask. it would make things more expedient.

imagine the time one might save in one’s life if you didn’t waste, say, a year or several on someone who pretended to be something they weren’t! imagine that! it would be GREAT! like, if you’re flaky you should just say “you know what, i’m a flake” and be done with it. i do it. i tell everyone “i am a terrible person” because then how can i ever disappoint them? and how could they ever think i was being someone i’m not!?

it’s just easier to pick the clear asshole out of the lineup because the problem with jerks in disguise vs nice guys is that you just can’t tell and you can go a good while thinking you’re building a future with someone who turns out just to have been along for kind of a short ride that is mostly for their own amusement. eventually the business of meeting a nice guy gets old and lame because damn there are a lot of jerks out there pretending to be nice, ostensibly to take advantage of girls who want a nice guy. real men choose a road. either you’re man enough not to be a jerk, or you’re man enough to wear your jerk swagger and your wife-beater and get on with it. you guys in between, jerks in nice-guy suits, are the cause of this problem. bastards.

another thing to consider is the degree of jerktitude. this is kind of important. for instance, captain asshole doesn’t call me names (as far as i know) and he’s never raised his hand to me or anything like that. this makes me, of course, personally responsible for the treatment i might get from him but i am able to be responsible for it. i know it’s coming, so it’s kind of a comfort, really. if he were to suddenly start being very nice, i would become very suspicious.

some girls like XXtreme Jerks(!) which are like, guys who hit them, guys who hit their kids, guys who bring home VD, whatever. you know, these girls (i don’t care what you saaaay!) are responsible for the level of jerktitude being perpetrated against them. it is everyone’s choice whether or not to date a jerk (unless it is an incognito jerk still in the “nice stages” at which point yo have no fucking clue), and whatever kind of jerk he is, remember ladies, he’s still a jerk and if he beats your face in, that’s the price you pay for not finding a less violent jerk. the sad part is, it seems there aren’t too many really honest assholes to be found. some people claim to be assholes but most are just looking for attention. sadly, jerks as a species have become so advanced that they’re infiltratin the ranks of nice guys with the greatest of ease, and ripping a swath through the dreams of every girl who, like Polly, just wanted to meet a nice guy.

on the other hand, i think on some level it teaches yo to be thankful. your friends can be shocked when their man fucks another girl (or another guy or an animal or what-have-you), or when he cleans out their bank account, or accidentally spends the whole night at a titty bar. the girl dating a jerk can smile to herself because she’s never shocked, never surprised, and furthermore, she’s so beyond that that she’s able to enjoy really great sex with her man, even though she knows he’s thinking of someone else.

c’mon jerks, get more honest with us, willya?  i mean think about it, you have it all over the nice guys already.  nice guys cannot be trusted.  it will make the actual nice guys very happy and maybe some chicks will find an actual nice guy. and by some chicks i mean those of us who haven’t been burned beyond repair yet.

(NOTE AND SOMETHING SORT OF LIKE A DISCLAIMER: the men in Polly’s life and the men of which i speak are amalgamations of men i have known and heard of throughout my life, so if you’re a jerk that i know, honest or incognito, don’t worry, this isn’t specifically about you.  but you’re still a jerk.  love ya tho <3)

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Comments»

1. whiskeykitten - 13 December, 2006

Amen Sistah!
i’ve had the unfortunate experience of knowing a few jerks-in-disguise. It really does burn one. scars for life. all on the inside. and then i’ve met some genuine nice guys, but couldn’t bring myself to trust because i was waiting for the ripping of the shirt to reveal the True Jerk underneath. like a superhero uniform.
I think you’ve swung and hit the nail, sistagirl, maybe not all the way in but you definitely hit the head there.

2. meh - 13 December, 2006

blah blah blahme blame blame. No-win. Sad. Also “you’re so jerk, you probably think this post is about you” hahaha “don’t you don’t you”

3. silentpyjamas - 14 December, 2006

wk: yah i don’t think i have the whole answer but i think i am onto something. people think i’m insane but i think if you asked girls who are with jerky guys, you’d get a pretty similar answer. it’s what i did. that and the nice guys telling me their girl left them for some asshole who they knew previously.

meh: i’m not trying to be “sad” here. i was simply answering a question that has been put to me a lot of times. i know a lot of people who have been “victims” of jerks, if you will, on both sides- nice guys, and girls. it’s not aimed at anyone, it’s just the answer to a question. i think everyone knows jerks, and it’s really not all that uncommon for someone making examples to say “this person/experience/thing is an amalgamation of many persons/experiences/things that i/others have bumped into.”

4. never Jerk - 17 December, 2008

I would add a complete different point here. I am a nice guy without any doubt. Yes, I am a guy who believe love is more important than sex. Sex without love is just a temporary pleasure without passion. I dont ind being loyal to someone I love. That’s all a nice guy about. But now I’ll add something I’m not which people percieve as a ‘Nice guy’. I have the balls, I am honest and believe in myself too much. I care a damn ofpeople judging me. I am what I am. Take me or leave it. I am a guy who writes poems but have the balls to punch an asshole if need arises. I have the balls to say the most damaging words if someone hurt any person who’s my friend or loved one. I have the confidence to go against the norm. I have the balls to agree that my consequence have effects and thats what made me responsible towards my action which effect others. Define a jerk better than a nice guy? I’ll check here if you wanna discuss. I have a habit of taking things personally and I am working on it. That’s my mistake I agree, but I am sure this would make a lively debate. 😉


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