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you sail away (atlantis) 31 October, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, poem-tree, stuff and nonsense.
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i saw your flag when you were still miles away
didn’t mean a thing
sat on my hill and found a better thing to do

stepped on my shores then i had too much to say
meant all too much
should have thought more about it

the water’s so wide
the water’s so deep
couldn’t have better than life as an island

so i stand with my face to the summer sun
there are lies in my eyes and i say it’s the spray
it’s easy the leaving it’s harder to stay
and i watch you sail away

the best spyglass is the one made with my hands
though i can’t see a thing
just means i don’t have to know what’s there

can’t have an hourglass if it’s empty of sand
that’s the point
it’s always right now and tomorrow is not at hand

the water’s so blue
the water’s so clear
can’t imagine it any other way so i will never leave

so i turn away from the summer sun
and i fear and i dread that the water i tread
will give me away it is blooming with red
as i watch you sail away

i seem to remember the summer sun
the dive that i take and the smile that i fake
through the choke and the shake as i drown in your wake

i heard once of something called the summer sun
it’s not hard to be brave underneath of the waves
don’t believe what you hear
there was no island here
fold your map and sail away

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a meandering through my thoughts 22 October, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, little navigations, thing-a-lings.
1 comment so far

this might not be the most interesting navigation ever.  i don’t know.  i’m just feeling thoughty and talking and writey all at once and i got bored of the tv.

first thought it on alex.  what an awesome girl.  dang.  man.  i wish i were half as awesomoe as she is.  how does a 3 year old become more awesome than her parents combined?   and how do they calculate that?

speaking of calculations, i spent a little while this evening talking with some people about my cost/benefits analysis i do on everyone.  oh i mean you know, if i hardly know you i do a simple balance sheet but like you know if we’re close pals you can safely assume you have something akin to a credit score in my head.  i’m considering putting it into an excel spreadsheet and making a little powerpoint presentation.  i got this idea from a friend who i asked “and to whom would i show this powerpoint presentation” and he was like “to yourself!”  so if i make these excel sheets i will put them in here or somewhere somehow so you can see them.  like as if you care.  haha.

so this show the first 48 is on again.  i totally think i have become inured.  i used to think it’s just because there are so many reruns of crime shows but now my sister and i really only pay attention to parco, pi (which we like to pronounce “parcopy”) and dominick dunne’s power, privilege and justice.  because there’s nothing like rich people killing each other to death over money.

speaking of money, my sister and i had a lengthy discussion (with some ouotside input) as to what it would be worth to kill someone, as it seems a lot of people do it on the cheap.  they get hired for like $500 or they kill their husband for like $500k and i’m like “man that is so retarded.”  so we went on a little exercise in extremes to see what we could imaginarily buy for $30 million.  this is to illustrate that it’s stupid to kill for money, a little or a lot because like, the chances of getting caught weigh WAY more heavily on us than even the princely sum of 30 million hypothetical dollars.

the guinea pigs are funny and the bald ones are very warm.  i hate to touch them with cold hands because without fur they must be a little shocked to feel the temperature of my skin.

they will always be bald.

speaking of bald, do you think people still wax their bald pates?

epitome is pronounced “eh-PIT-uh-me” not “EP-i-tome.”  it is not spelled appitomy.

that makes me think of appendix.

sometimes i worry that love and anger cannot coincide.

i got interrupted for a few minutes.  working on an idea.  maybe for a comic!  that reminds me, remind me later when i’m sober to write about the christmas party, the tv, and the halt-man comic.  i’d link it now but i am too fucked up.  i can’t believe i just said that.

the sad part is, i think i am being horrible on purpose and i don’t know how to stop.  or maybe i have tricked myself into thinking i don’t know how to stop.  it always feels good when i am careening down the road to insanity, so gleefully apathetic and eventually nearly snarling with fiendish delight in saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.  it’s cathartic, i feel, every single time, as if i am purging myself of something.  like i am somehow lighter than before.

does that make me a bad person?  i’d rather for you to think i’m a bad person than to dislike me based on some deficiency in my character.  yes i’m a weird one.

interrupted again.  they must have redirected a flight path or something over my apartment complex.  tonight is full of the heavy drone of aircraft.  planes flying and flying and flying.  passing overhead.  the sound concerned me at first.  there were so many planes that at first i thought there was a tank rolling down the street, or possibly (gasp of gasps!) an alien invasion.  well at first i thought “that sounds like a plane” but it got closer and then farther away.  which confused me because for about 15 seconds i thought there was a plane about to crash into my complex (or house) and i was asking myself “should i type that real fast and hit post so in case i die everyone knows what happened?”

i think that’s enough pontificating and rambling for tonight.  thanks, you’ve been a great audience.

the problem is… 22 October, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, thing-a-lings.
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even though Kanye West thinks he’s Jesus, i can’t stop loving him

(edit: this post was made during one of my enforced “reeducation” sessions, aka my sister’s video-watching time [we have 1 tv.  on purpose.].  the video in question was “touch the sky” by kanye west which features him kissing pam anderson.  my sister intoned, sotto voce, “yeah i kissed a white girl.  it tasted nasty like mayonnaise, but i did it for the sake of art.”)

the truth about biology and ugly boys 22 October, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, inflammatory!.
1 comment so far

this is a codicil, insisted upon by one lance benson who was offended i didn’t put in the part of the discussion about ugly guys.

[14:08] <spj_zeez> i think the ironic and funny part is that ugly guys are much less noticed.  it is a rare guy who is *so* unattractive he cannot meet a girl at all
[14:14] <@Lance> what about that mutant fucker from the Goonies
[14:14] <spj_zeez> i said RARE
[14:15] <@Lance> WHAT IF THERE WERE 5 MILLION OF HIM
[14:16] <spj_zeez> compared to the number of total men on the earth they are a small minority of tragic dudes who can only get poon by buying it or taking it
[14:16] <spj_zeez> or maybe they don’t even think about poon
[14:16] <@Lance> they’re into fat kids
[14:21] <spj_zeez> hrm maybe so

the truth about biology and ugly girls 22 October, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, inflammatory!.
24 comments

[13:56] <spj_zeez> i wonder if it is the fate of women everywhere to believe they are ugly
[13:57] <TheFool> well, duh…if they didn’t, how would the vast majority of men get to breed?
[13:57] <spj_zeez> lol what do you mean?
[13:57] <@Lance> if it answers your inquery, I haven’t met a woman yet that’s stated she’s comfortable enough with her appearance to make out with their reflections
[13:57] <spj_zeez> i’d think it would be more helpful if women thought they were beautiful, as the proclivity tends toward the best possible specimens
[13:57] <TheFool> well, if women believed they were beautiful, then they’d have standards
[13:58] <TheFool> and then most guys wouldn’t be able to breed
[13:58] <TheFool> therefore it’s in their best interests to make women feel ugly
[13:59] <spj_zeez> hrm i guess that makes as much sense as anything else i’ve heard
[14:02] <spj_zeez> the thing is. actual ugly girls then feel even uglier. because if pretty girls are ugly then like, less-than-pretty girls are hopeless and hideous
[14:02] <spj_zeez> so it is still not really a level playing field
[14:02] * spj_zeez has given this a lot of thought
[14:04] <TheFool> no, but those hopeless and hideous girls are likelier to spread for any guy who shows an interest
[14:04] <TheFool> and therefore more likely to have kids
[14:05] <spj_zeez> yes i have considered that
[14:05] <spj_zeez> i suppose it is a natural and biological order
[14:06] <spj_zeez> heheh
[14:06] <spj_zeez> nature wins again
[14:07] <spj_zeez> i see. it all makes sense now. i feel encouraged

i didn’t really address ugly guys, not having ever been one before. the topic did come up but it was less scientific and more comical when we talked about it. at last, hyoo-mons, we have figured it out. we think we have triumphed over nature what with our “thinking” and our “minds” and our “free will” but we now know that, in fact, nature has defeated us once again. you can’t really argue with logic like TheFool’s because he has no interest whatsoever in romance with girls or guys, and is frankly turned off by the thought.

this means, clearly, that he is impartial and thinks about this kind of stuff in a way most of us in the repro-race do not. what does the whole thing say about people? i don’t know, except that in the end with very few exceptions, we are herded just like the so-called lesser animals. seems we’re just as “lesser” as they are. on the plus side i am relatively encouraged that all i need to do is behave according to my station and in the end i will be rewarded. there is a heaven for ugly girls!

i think i spent too much time on my youth not putting out. this is where i failed. had i been doing it up to now, i’d probably engender the kind of loyalty that ugly girls get when they bang a guy who turns out to like them. by then, they’ve already passed the most important tests. i’ve been going the wrong route, being all on the high road, can’t sleep with someone until we have a relationship, shot down in pretty girls’ territory.

i will use my newfound wisdom, well, wisely. cheer up, ugly girls. we can’t be as picky as the pretty ones, but we’re the ones who keep the place populated.

Protected: litany 2 (a poem) 21 October, 2006

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just when you thought it was safe 21 October, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap.
1 comment so far

we were both wrong

ohh it was a cuuute irc moment 14 October, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, stuff and nonsense.
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[02:35] <patbam> o.O.oO0Oo.o0O0ooo.o…
[02:36] <patbam> i drored a worm.
[02:36] <silentpyjamas> aww
[02:36] <silentpyjamas> so cuuute
[02:37] <patbam> …o.ooo0O0o.oO0Oo.O.o
[02:37] <patbam> it is going back home now.
[02:37] <patbam> …o.ooo0O0o.oO0Oo.O.o
[02:37] <silentpyjamas> heeheeh
[02:37] <silentpyjamas> ❤
[02:37] <patbam> (bye)> …o.ooo0O0o.oO0Oo.O.o
[02:37] <silentpyjamas> bye bye mr wormy
[02:38] <patbam> …o.oo
[02:38] <patbam> .