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Dispatch from Comrade Voyavoda: for the love of The Party 21 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in Dispatches from Voyavoda.
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(just a little Party-related imagery. cue the hankies.)

greymantledwolf puffs on a pipe and stares at a sunset
greymantledwolf absentmindedly whittles a sickle and hammer
Voyavoda nods silently to grey in honor of the party
Lacan sheds a single tear
greymantledwolf closes his eyes for the last time
Voyavoda hears the fading strains of a symphony floating away against the sky

no, not that party


Dihydrogen Monoxide and Hard Water: What You Need to Know 12 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap.

Hard water is known to be a sort of universal difficulty, especially among those living in rural areas. The deposits of salts and minerals can wreak havoc on your hair, leave a scaly residue in bathtubs, toilets, and sinks, and cause faucets to rust much more quickly than usual. The taste leaves much to be desired, unless one desires to know the flavor of rocks. As such, hard water isn’t considered very dangerous to our health. A major component of hard water, however, is Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) also known as hydric acid. DHMO is known to be a contributor to acid rain, global warming and soil erosion. According to the Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS) on DHMO, it is potentially hazardous to humans and animals. Under certain circumstances DHMO can react violently when combined with specific substances, and it’s known that DHMO’s mingling with the trace minerals in hard water contributes directly to the inconveniences that those who have hard water deal with on a daily basis.

One avenue of recourse available to those with hard water is a water softener. This device uses ion exhange to remove the minerals that have been deposited and are mingling with the DHMO to cause the water hardness. It’s been shown that in rare cases, after a shower with hard water you can come out feeling as if you have been pelted with rocks, or run through a sprinkler only to feel as if someone has whacked you with a cookie sheet. This is due to the effects of the DHMO allowing large amounts of ground elements to seep into the water and give it what seems to be extra weight.

Hard water is enough of a problem by itself, and a softener such as this one will definitely help remedy that situation. The added bonus of this Kinetico water Softener/Conditioner is that it will also help keep DHMO from reacting with the minerals and salts that are part of hard water, and will keep your water silky-smooth, delicious and safer than before.

For more information on Dihydrogen Monoxide and its effects on us and our environment, please visit DHMO.org.

Alex Ionescu Has a Dream Today 11 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, inflammatory!, stuff and nonsense.

[15:40] <@Alex_Ionescu> I HAVE A DREAM
[15:40] <@Alex_Ionescu> CAN BOOT A FOSS OS
[15:40] <silentpyjamas> HAhA YES ALEX, YES!
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> a dream where black children from all nations
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> and all walks of life
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> do not spend their lunch money
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> on windows licenses
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> but on LUNCH!
[15:41] <@Alex_Ionescu> Though I walk through the valley of propretiary products
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> I will fear NO CODE
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> NO LAWSUIT
[15:42] <silentpyjamas> YEAS!
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> and NO CORPORATION
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> will shun my dreams and hopeS!
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> ARE YOU WITH ME
[15:42] <@Alex_Ionescu> ARE YOU WITH ME??????
[15:42] <silentpyjamas> YESSS-AHHH
[15:42] *** EmuandCo changed nick to BillGates
[15:43] * +BillGates shoots at Alex_Ionescu
[15:43] * @Alex_Ionescu becomes a national symbol and martyr

We love you, Alex Ionescu. For freeing us from the binding chains of closed-source, corporate-controlled software. We love you Alex, because you will let us indulge in our urge to use windows programs without using Windows.

Seriously, come out and support your local Free, Open Source Software. ReactOS is being nurtured and grown so that people who don’t use Linux and BeOS and MacOS will not have to change their entire lifestyles and the programs they use just to avoid having to be treated like a stepchild by a company that, yes, is made to make a profit but at the same time is dominating the software industry in an unhealthy way. It’s still mostly nascent, but even if you can’t run it yet, come for the things you can learn and the people that hang out in there. You might even find it in yourself to fight the good fight!

(This has been a shout out to ReactOS. You can find this marvelous Alex Ionescu at irc.freenode.net #reactos. And don’t forget to visit the ReactOS website and check out those glorious screenshots!)

myspace 9 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in stuff and nonsense.
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i have this myspace.  it’s so weird because i really only signed up for it at first to look at someone’s photos.  then my friends Nic and Rob found me on it, then my sister got one, i learned my stepdad had one, i found out other people i knew had them, and now i have sixteen whole friends.  today a very old friend from school found me.  this is a friend with whom i spent many happy hours making up weird sci fi and fantasy stories, listening to great music, and generally avoiding my dad when i could.  every time i would go to her house, i would accidentally break a refrigerator magnet on her mother’s fridge.  she had really *nice* magnets too.  oy.

so, this myspace thing is cool enough when it’s about keeping track of my friends.  i was going to use the myspace blog but land sakes knows i have enough blogs.  i was thinking of linking from my myspace blog to this one but then i thought, you know what?  maybe not.  maybe i won’t, because while i know that anyone can stumble across this pile of nonsense randomly, i don’t want to point anyone (like my stepdad) here.  not that there’s anything he shouldn’t read really, it’s just that i guess some of this stuff is like, the kind of personal that’s perfectly fine to share with strangers.

maybe that doesn’t make any sense.

so what’s new in my life?  well, this and that i  guess.  i’m hanging out with alex at the parental units’ house.  they’re getting their kitchen window replaced as it’s very close to the pool and the coating that was on the glass when they first got the house has been cooked off by the sun.  if the window breaks the pool will likely be unusable until draining and cleaning, glass in the water and all.  it’s not *right* next to the pool but it’s about 5 feet away and we’ve got to be safe.  so it’s tempered glass for the kitchen window!

i’m watching a show about caligula.  this is certainly very interesting.  i’ve learned a lot about him in the past few years and one thing i have found is that nobody is really a monster.  well, there are people who are monsters, but nobody just starts out that way.  caligula, known for his excesses and cruelty, was shaped by his past.  that doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it is something to think of someone like caligula suffering pain which made him in turn deliver it.  he could have absolutely chosen not to behave in such a way, but he didn’t.  i wonder, though, if his past had been different would he have been?

it’s that kind o thing that makes me afraid sometimes.  what is the line between influence and conscious decision?  my past was rough, and it has shaped me into someone who is deathly afraid of her anger and her dark side and afraid she will do something screwed up.  i wonder if there’s some point where i could learn to revel in cruelty or something.  i have seen hints of that in myself but they’re very scary.

i’d like to think i’m a pretty decent person though.  mom says i always put myself last. i’d like to be more selfish.  seriously.   oddly enough, i feel very selfish.

hmm what else.  i have no idea.  more as i think of it, but i doubt it will be so creepily pensive.  i always get like that when i see something thoughtful on the tv.  when i’m reading something thoughtful i don’t have time for blogging, i’m too busy reading lol.

copy 8 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap.
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Everyone loves a laser. Scientists are even debating whether lasers can, in fact, facilitate time travel. Laser, actually, stands for light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation. What does this mean to you? Well, my friend, you could be the proud owner of a piece of very clever technology!

Based on this diagram courtesy of HowStuffWorks the laser printer is proven to be an innovative use of the laser. The paper enters from the tray and is pulled along a path until it contacts the drum. As the drum spins, the laser “writes” the text or the picture on the drum, which has a positive charge. The points where the laser contacts the drum pick up a negative charge and the positively charged toner clings to them. The paper below is strongly positively charged, making the now negatively-charged toner powder cling to it and then the paper is discharged and sent to the fuser where the toner is heat-bonded to the paper, giving it that nice warm feeling and those raised letters.

After a page is printed the drum itself is discharged and then re-charged to begin its work again. It’s all a bit more complicated than that and for more info you can go here and read about it in more detail. Wasn’t that an exciting journey through science?

Inkjets are easy to figure out. Ink. Jet. See? Laser printers, as you have seen, are just amazing (relatively) little bundles of science. Oh there’s so much more science involved, but the heart of it all is the venerable laser. Think about laser guns, laser light shows, laser quest, and all of the things you loved as a child. They’re all wrapped up in Hewlett-Packard. Wouldn’t you want that on your desk?

speckle 7 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, little fictions.
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(inspired by and dedicated to Stardust@Home)

the child was exploring. her eyes were so luminous in the slanted shaft of light from the window, the seemingly lackluster brown igniting and flickering with hints of amber and gold. now she was amazing, now she was magical and marvelous. wider they grew. her hand reached, so tiny with those little fat fingers. dimpled knuckles. still so delightfully a baby. one step, two steps, her entire body moving awkwardly, so many years away from the sure steps of a woman. there she was, with red red lips that were curved into the most innocent of smiles. all soft and warm and smell and gurgle, and so alive.

from here, they could not see the ground. they were out there, in space, floating in the world where nothing touched anything except violently. there was no love in space. there was plenty of blackness. they thought it was surreal, this cloak of endless dark. if they were to fall, where would they end up? how long would it take them to fall through nothing? that fear was deep in their bellies as they looked around and tried to remember they were trained for this, and that they were experts. this was nothing like below, where they would fall, even if to their deaths, into the welcoming arms of their home.

she didn’t know them, didn’t even know of them. she didn’t hear them chattering or laughing. she was busy now, her arm extending, so much like the arm of their craft out there, trying to touch something ephemeral. every bit the scientist they were. closer her hand moved to her goal, they too, closer. it seemed like forever in her world, in their minds. it was but a second.


her hand closed lightning-quick around it. gleeful, the sweetest peals of laughter. she closed her eyes and let her head fly backward and she laughed. she opened her hand, quickly, to see what she had caught. the now-terse voices in space were suddenly silent.

“talk to me. can you hear me? can you hear me?

the child stared into her palm. there, she found nothing. she twisted her lips for a moment in dismay, looked up. instantly she was lost again in the world of tiny floating dust motes.

out in the cold dark, the two astronauts were not panicking. they felt it, but they held it in, because it was their job. when they were pulled in, at the last moment, the man gasped frantically in his helmet, eyes wide with the fear that comes from the sight of death. it had loomed large in that place that was home-but-not-home, and he knew a relief like no other to hear the voices of his compatriots. the girl was silent, she had no time for fear, her eyes fixed on the velvet black blanket sprinkled with spheres and rocks and stars. her arm was stretched forward, fingers half-curled as she reached for one of them, one of the number of diamond speckles.

once her feet touched the earth again, they did not leave. she had touched heaven.

since i’m on a run here… 6 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, blather and claptrap.
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i know, i’m lame. but i’m listening to music and i just had to share this.
i’m listening to a song called “crosses and crowns” by a christian artist called natalie grant. she’s pretty amazing, and is one of the few christian artists i actually really like. the song has these lyrics, which i believe are amazingly poetic:

we’re waiting on new wings
searching an old sky
waiting for the day we see heaven coming down
there’s a promised land awaiting
but there’s mercy in the meantime
while we’re walking on this ground between crosses and crowns

i always thought those were beautiful words.

the flurry 6 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, blather and claptrap.
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you may be wondering what this sudden burst of blog activity is. and why i have all of these private posts. i can explain.

the past week or so i have been all topsy-turvy. i’ve been under some amount of stress and not feeling like myself. sometimes, literally not myself. my dad’s birthday was august 4 and in case you read that meandering, vitriolic post i wrote to him, yes, yes that did contribute to it. every time he comes up in conversation it turns into a fight with my mom about forgiving him. it’s so ironic that i forgave the people who murdered my brother but i can’t bring myself to forgive my father. i try to do it but it’s always grudging and mom says grudging forgiveness doesn’t really count.

there’s been stress in my friendships, so many things seem to be going wrong right now and i am grieving over some relationships of mine because they once were so close and now they’re so distant. i love my friends but sometimes i have to be away from them because they’re hurting themselves and the people around them. sometimes some of them can be jerks but i still love them, because friendship, in my circle, is like a job title. you stay someone’s friend when they’re an ass because you love them and love is, of course, an act and not a feeling. because seriously, sometimes don’t you just feel like beating the crap out of your friends?

i’m planning a trip to vancouver, where i will visit a friend who i once tried to comfort during a bad time. while i’m there i’ll go to a geek party and maybe try to relax a little bit.

there was a little barbecue at mom’s tonight. the pastor of her church was there, and of course i was completely wasted. alright, not *that* wasted. not really drunk, alright, drunk. but not stupidly drunk. we had a great time, everyone got tipsy, and there was really good discussion all around.

right now, i’m mostly feeling alright. i’m still on the ride, but it’s slowed down. i feel it might stop soon. life is changing and it is frightening for me.

the private posts: well, i swore i was going to keep this thing as emo-free as possible. i don’t want it to become like my old livejournal. land sakes. i wanted to make my posts, though. i wanted to share this with someone, even if it was just the illusion of sharing. these are all things i started to say and couldn’t finish. maybe i felt i didn’t deserve to finish them, or even feel what i was writing. maybe in the end, i just didn’t want someone to know something that i felt. despite my poem, it’s never the right time, you know?

at the same time, i wanted my blog to be a chronicle of my life. just the history of CoCo beginning whenever it began. i’m not writing it for anyone but myself, and i feel bad about inflicting this on everyone who’s reading, but i don’t feel bad about writing it. these are my very own words, and that’s really all i have in the big scheme of things. since i was a child i’ve written things that are a barometer of my life and times. i can’t do any less now, it’s who i am. if i didn’t have anything but a pencil, some dirty paper, and a cardboard box i’d be writing.

blah blah blah. i’m just babbling, luckily i can do that.

blah blah

the right time 6 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, poem-tree, stuff and nonsense.
1 comment so far

when is it ever the right time
to tell someone you love them
or to tell them that you hate them
or, “i’m pregnant”
when is the right time to say
“i have to talk to you about something”
it never feels like the right time
but time is not a feeling
or even a thing, it’s a force
time can take from you what you value most
or it can give you something you never expected
time is funny like that
in a minute, once a year, tomorrow, tonight, every half an hour
today monday, yesterday, this day, that day
when is the right time
to take the time
to say what you feel you can’t
or feel you can
but don’t know how
time is slippery
time will get away from you
or hunt you down
time is unpredictable
you are unpredictable
we can barely know ourselves beyond this moment
i might be someone else in a second
or perhaps already am
this is the right time
this is the right time to say what you feel
say what you want
say what you hate/love/desire/dream of/fear/need/wonder about/doubt
this is the right time
don’t waste a moment
time is only on its own side

Protected: wrench 6 August, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in chronicle of the crazy.
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