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welcome to the FSBA 6 July, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, F.S.B.A..
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last night my sister and i celebrated her husband’s buying her a gym membership by hitting ye olde 24 hour fitness and making ourselves hurt and sweat for the sake of beauty.  oh, and health.  yes health.  so i’ve quit smoking (again) so that my lungs won’t collapse on me as i grunt “i *will* be a skinny bitch” under my breath on the elliptical machine/weights/bike/in the pool.  my sister and i are the Future Skinny Bitches of America and i’ll be keeping random track here of how i’m doing.  by random i mean i will never tell anyone how much i weigh but i sure as heck will let you know when it hurts to walk or pick things up.

some things i learned last night are:

1) my right arm is significantly stronger than my left.  i believe this is because generally, if i have to pick alex up these days, i slide my right forearm under her butt and have her sit down on it, then i swing her up to me.  this works great ever since she’s gotten so tall and big that picking her up like a baby is an exercise in destroying my (admittedly rather strong) back.  anyways, it was nice to be able to do some arm and chest exercises without feeling like a total wuss.  i didn’t lift *that much* weight but i did lift weights and i was all like “RAAAWR I AM SO BUFF NOW!”  i’m totally not but still, i am visualizing the buff, skinny bitch inside

2) omg i DO sweat!  i have worked out, worked outside, worked hard, worked in the  heat, and worked for hours and never really perspired.  but last night.  i totally did perspire

3) at the gym, the guys are very friendly even if you’re fat.  the girls, however, (with a notable exception who was super-cool) just give you the meaneye.  i believe it goes like this.

guy: heey, this girl’s getting in shape.  more poon.

girl: dammit, competition.  that girl’s getting into shape.  gah!

this is seriously my theory.

4) pain isn’t so bad.  i just have to ignore it, or give in to it, or something.  i just have to let it not bother me.  i made it through a good hard workout and i just HAVE TO KEEP GOING.

alright.  i am sure i learned some other crap last night but who knows what it is.

the point, in any case, is that i shall be thin.  thin and stylishly dressed.  i have no idea how long this will take me.  but watch this space anyway.  you’ll know whether i succeed and and up the toast of the las vegas club scene (hah, i hate clubs) or just end up sitting in my livingroom eating tubs of ice cream and watching soap operas.

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