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my boys: update 29 July, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, blather and claptrap.
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the sassy one went to sleep first.

imagine that.


my boys 29 July, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap.
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i’m at mad sam and hazy’s, watching the kids, jr and b.  minus their niece, whom i will call meta for metamorphosis, because she’s 10 and changing.  plus the little boy from next door, b2.  and mad sam’s nephew jl.  four little boys, between 4 and 11.  four sneaky little boys.

it was an emergency babysitting mission.  mad sam had to be somewhere, hazy’s at work, and my smokin’ buddy was at work.  here i was, alone with the beasts.  luckily, they love me.  b2 wanted to spend the night and sam left it up to me.  b2’s a sweet kid so i was like sure. so b2 ran home a little while ago to grab some stuff and brought back some sodas.  i told them bedtime was 11:30 and of course i got the usual chorus of “aww but it’s summer and…” which i silenced quickly with a little story of how bedtime was invented to keep overworked adults from beating children to death.

i told them to put the sodas in the fridge and in a rare stroke of permissiveness i said “you can have them in the morning.”  i thought they were mollified.  my sister was hanging out with me for a little bit (all in a pretty dress with her hair done up.  she looked so preeeeetty!) and she was laughing because she knows i’m hardcore.  11:30 came and went and the boys were headed for bed.   all was about to be well.

except something didn’t seem right.  something was wrong.  my Black Mama Sense was shuckin’ and jivin’.  i checked the refrigerator in the kitchen.  i checked the refrigerator in the garage.  the three cans of soda were nowhere to be found.

now, i had told the boys they could stay up late if they were quiet.  i might have been willing to entertain that thought still.  only then when i called them down, they totally lied.  and then i used my amazing tv detective powers to deduce which one of them had snuck them up the stairs and how.  Hooked on Poirot worked for me!

i was right.  the offending sodas were returned to the fridge, and carefully hidden from a casual midnight drinker per the pleas of b2.  i’m not a monster, you know.  then i sentenced them, for their collusion and lying, to immediate lights out.  you would think they would have figured out by then.


about 7 minutes into bedtime there arose such a clatter that i snuck up the stairs as quietly as could be.  wielding the back scratcher also known as theSpank Stick.  i almost never use it and can’t remember having done so on anyone but malinky in quiite some time, and recently, not even on her.  it’s not a hollow threat by any means.  anyone who leaves their children with CoCo knows that a butt whuppin is not out of the question if they misbehave, and if the kid doesn’t like it and they’re just hanging out, well then it’s a good thing they live within walking distance.

the kids usually behave.  but tonight they were testy.  i got into the doorway before they noticed me and i said (and i quote) “and so the babysitter asends the stairs wielding her mighty Spank Stick as she enters the Kingdom of Boys.”  on the kingdom of boys part i swung the door shut a little because b2 was hiding behind it.  oh yes, the force is strong with this one.

i gave them a good dressing down.  now, jl is sassy.  wooh he does have a sassy mouth.  he’s so sassy that i had to levy the all-for-one rule ™.  if they don’t get their sodas tomorrow, they will have him to thank.  so far he’s been very quiet.

oddly enough the kids love me.  they think i am soooo kewl.  i send them pictures for their cellphone wallpapers and talk about whatever they want with them.  i feel like, i’m there with them, may as well interact.  but when they want to play, i let them have at it.  the past couple weeks they’ve been over to my mom’s for weekly pool parties.  why not?  it will make them sleep at night.

they’re pretty respectful on the whole.  mad sam cooked a roast for dinner with his delightful green beans (oh how i love mad sam’s green beans, the way i love hazy’s curries).  jr asked “CoCo will you be eating with us?”  “would you like to sit at the table?”  such nice kids.

now it’s time for grown-up time.  talk to you later!

vaht ah lahfly day: navigation of a chat with my sister 27 July, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, F.S.B.A., little navigations.
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it really was. had a nice meeting (read more at my company’s blog) and i feel eminently encouraged and hopeful.  life feels good right now.

my sister and i had a nice long chat this evening about this and that, and it was pretty neat.  alex was in bed (and she went to sleep like right away, whoa)  and we got to just sit and chittychat.  it was really pleasant.  we talked about people and their habits and their tendencies.  we delved into how our childhood affects us now.  the big thing was body language.  when we were kids, our father did not really use body language.  like he’d be perfectly fine, and then WHANG YOU RIGHT ON THE HEAD or something.  right into the wall.  he never betrayed any kind of sign that he was going to be any particular way, unless he was very agitated.  money was a weapon, food was a weapon, time with our siblings and mother was a weapon.

and now we find ourselves, as adults, having a terrible time relating to other people.  it’s as if we don’t understand what “normal people do” so we do what we do and find out, little by little over time, how much it differs from other people.  we went from this topic to, of all things, acid.

no, not the kind you throw in someone’s face,  silly.  the kind you drop so you can trip or fry.  i have personally never done acid.  we discussed why.  i son’t have any particular inclination toward wanting to either, even though i seem to sail through most hallucinations with ease.

i think this is because like, in my hallucinations the world i am currently inhabiting has rules, just like this one.  so a pink elephant on the wall wouldn’t fit in anywhere. i wouldn ‘t know how to respond because while in the water tower i know how to act because the illusion is complete, but there is no place where i have a background and set of rules for pink elephants.  my sister told me any little change in mood or something can trigger a bad trip.  and the length of the trip, 12 hours.  yikes!

my brain is fried all by itself.  besides, to keep it warm i bake it on a regular basis.

i feel like writing some fiction but it’s not writable yet.  it’s swirling around in my brain taking shape.  sometimes i wonder if i actually make up my fiction, or if it’s like the tobacco mosaic virus experiment.  now i have to explain it.

basically tobacco mosaic was the first virus to be discovered.  a guy put the ingredients for it together  (on purpose or not, i cannot recall) and like, the next day when he came in to check on it, the virus had formed all by itself.

yes so i am saying, do i make it up or do pieces that fit together just come together on their own?  we shall soon see, eh?  well, actually no we won’t.  i’ll just have an idea soon.

we talked about the gym.  F.S.B.A. has been on hiatus for a bit, owing to our crappy schedules.  we’re gettig busy though, because, well, she’s got to get a little sexier for her birthday (kinda soon but not too soon) and i am on a mission to be the hottest transatlantic tomato there ever was.  we talked about the poon pool, and determined not to let the rotten girls at the gym ruin our good time.  we’re not there to pick up hot gym guys.  my sister had a husband and i, well, just can’t be bothered to pick up a gym guy.  we’re there to get in shape, feel better about ourselves, and freakin get in some quality Boggle time while we ride the bikes.

(oh yeah, we have 3 versions of boggle.  tiny mini portable, regular, and some fancy-pants version.  sick, no?)

wels lid off the topic of the gym and talked about, well, something.  i forget.  anyways, this wasn’t as awesome a navigation as the music one, but don’t worry.  there will be other, different navigations.  maybe even better.  kiss kiss darlings!

AL-ECKS YU AR SO FUNY 24 July, 2006

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this morning i let my niece draw on my back with highlighter.  she held them in her hand and said “pick the one you want.”  i chose blue and she was like “not that one.  pick another one.”

then she was drawing and she said “coco, does that hurt?”  i said “nope.”

she started digging around in my pencil bag looking for the one that hurt.

whoa, a record third post 24 July, 2006

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i am making chocolate chip cookies.  and listening to leonard cohen’s “hallelujah.”

i loce this song.  i mean the sung versions by other people are awesome, and sure leonard cohen has a weird voice, but this chorus, with the gospel-esque chorus seems so powerful to me.  and i love the lyric “and even though it all went wrong, i’ll stand before the lord of song with nothing on my tongue but hallelujah.”  yeah.   that’s some awesome-ass imagery right there.

so my little sad fugue only lasted part of the day.  i’m happy.  now brb, as i am going to recon my cookies and milk.

-intermission music-

back with cookies and milk, about 20 minutes later. and by milk i mean chocolate milk and grey goose vodka.  yes, together.

now that my bad mood has passed (thanks chocolate and providence!) i can get into some awesome stuff.  like finding the perfect boots to go with my coat that mom’s making me.  long winter coat.  not so perfect for vegas except a few weeks out of the year, but defnitely perfect for the destinations i will be traveling to.  just awesome.  totally awesome.

brother germany and more 23 July, 2006

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so my friend jeremy called.  he is known as brother germany among a really select few of our mutual friends.  like maybe between 4 of us, including him.  anyways we caught up, laughed a lot, and i logged into my myspace page to add him.  lol it is like all my friends can be found there.  i am the only one among them that does nothing with the page except read it like the CoCo’s Friends News.

we laughed a lot about stuff from the past and it was really cool.  haven’t spoken to him in 3-4 years.  maybe longer, really.  he has a really deep voice and at one time was on the radio.  oh brother germany, it was great to hear from you.

in less awesome news, my travels are seemingly going to be put on hold.  this is very irritating to me as i am sick and tired of money always being the problem.  man, when i am the ruler of the earth money will be illegal!  i just really want to go, want to meet some people, have some adventures, have something to think about when i come back here.   i hope that something happens.  i hope that i can still go when i want to.  there was a particular adventure i really had my heart set on, i was preparing for it already.  i do not want to miss out on that.  it’s the one adventure that was going to be pretty frikin memorable.  perhaps it really will be time for me to once again commence the writing of the grown-up stories to finance my dreams eh.

nothing else, really.  i just feel a little crushed.  i am trying to climb out of this crush-hole as quickly as possible though.  i can’t languish in a pool of my own tears when i nyself believe i can change reality through the sheer force of my will.  in fact, now i feel empowered to make mincemeat of the assertion that i won’t be able to afford to go on my trip.  it is so crazy how that happens.

totally crazy.

stoopid tears 23 July, 2006

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i am crying for a stupid reason.  so my sister and her amazing magical husband are going to spend a few days on the strip being tourists for her birthday.  it’s so stupidly romantic.  why do i just burn with envy?  i want my sister to be happy.  i really do.  at the same time, i look back at my last relation with a guy of any sort.  that would be when commander asshole called a few days ago and seemed tragically disappointed that i didn’t have the inclination to score him some drug he’s in love with.

i remember when we would spend hours listening to music and watching the tv.  whatever.  whatever.

how did my perfectly normal morning turn so emo?  i don’t know.  i’d say it was that news from my sister.  i don’t want to seem bitter and begrudging, because my sister deserves to have a great tme with her husband, i mean after all, she married him.  but i just see myself, 6 years older than she and falling into spinsterhood after having spent the whole of my 20’s cultivating friendships with all manner of guys.  being “that girl” that was awesome enough to kick it with and maybe even sleep with but not awesome enough to have as a girlfriend.  i totally wish i’d married my gay ex-fiance now.  at least he was amusing and very fashionable.

i blame this whole outburst on pms.  i had a crazy dream last night in which i had to give a speech or a prayer or something at some kind of huge convention.  i was wearing these very nice high-heeled shoes (i never wear heels) that seemed to magically keep getting bigger just as i would manage to get good at walking in them.  i was walking and next thing you know, my shoes were too big and i had to tighten the buckles on them so they wouldn’t fall off.

then i ended up leaving that place (without having spoken) to go do something in another building.  before i got back to my speech, i saw an airplane that was leaving for seoul.  i had to be on that plane.  why?  i can only imagine that the olympics i ever really really first paid close attention to, were in seoul.

anyways i feel much less emo.  it must be this vodka and chocolate milk.

and pot.

the relaxer conundrum 22 July, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in blather and claptrap, inflammatory!.
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when i was a kid i got relaxers. well, even into adulthood. for white people, a relaxer is the opposite of a perm.  we actually call relaxers “perms”, even though they make our hair straight. i haven’t gotten one in a good number of years, but when i did, i ran into this strange occurrence.

have you ever tried to deny yourself something, knowing that if you didn’t, the consequences could be unpleasant? well, let me tell you. when you get a relaxer, although it’s not supposed to touch your scalp, you’re also not supposed to scratch your scalp because it totally will touch your scalp. if you scratch, even the tiniest bit, it burns.

starts off as a tingle, builds to a full-roar burn. remember in malcolm x when denzel tried to be strong but then dunked his head in a toilet? that is just what a relaxer burn is like. and then it hurts for days. it’s awful because as much as it hurts just sitting on your scratch, it hurts even more when they put the neutralizer shampoo that stops the chemical from working. god forbid your hair is not all the way straight yet or you’re fucked for 6 weeks. the shampoo burns, and finally it stops burning, except for the vigorous scrubbing action that must be applied to get all of the relaxer and shampoo out of your hair. then of course conditioner. burns. rinsing. burns. it even burns that night when you lie down to go to sleep. the burn is really something.

but as soon as i would decide to get a relaxer, my head would begin to itch. as if it were daring me to scratch it. as if it were taunting me. “c’mon. c’mon i can’t take this itching. you feel it, don’t you? is it interrupting your train of thought yet?” already my skin is sensitive to chemicals and i’d get burned by relaxers anyway. scratching only made it worse.
usually i could hold out at first but as the day would wear on (no scratching for at least 24 hours beforehand, but i really recommend 48 hours or better yet, don’t get relaxers. they suck) the itching would become insidious, i would find my hand straying to my head. nothing would be wrong, and i just knew that if i didn’t have a relaxer kit in the house my head would not be itching. by the next day, i would have caught myself scratching several times. i’d know it would sting, but that was the price to pay. you schedule a relaxer around a major event so you won’t put it off. once you have the kit, you have to use it. if you don’t, then you will have a kitchen and your hair will be puffy. it is all very mental.
this is the relaxer conundrum.

(posted under inflammatory but only because relaxers literally are)

cai o rei 22 July, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, blather and claptrap.
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cai o rei de espadas

cai o rei de ouros

cai o rei de paus

cai, no fica nada!

man i feel triumphant tonight.  i feel very good.  i can hardly say why, but i think it’s because suddenly the clouds in my life have broken and good stuff is happening.  i didn’t even realize what a funk i’d been in until it was over, and now i feel lighter somehow.  i feel good.


anyways i feel FICTITIOUS.  or something.  whatever.  damn.

touching god 19 July, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in 420 posts, blather and claptrap.
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i’ve been talking to a mathematician.  i really like talking to him because he’s so patient with me.  i hate math but he is trying to coax me into at least appreciating it.  yesterday he began explaining types of numbers to me.  i told him logic makes my brain itch so he’s been really tender with it.

he gave me this cute mathematical heart thing.   he’s adorable.  anyway i got to thinking about science and math.  you know, when we were in school, we were amazed at the scientific processes behind everyday things.  it seems now, though, that we grow older and we lose that tiny little bit of joy.  for me, it’s amazing still.  it’s happening all by itself.  it’s science!  i don’t know.  there seems to be such a wide gulf between faith and science.  i don’t understand this.  to me, science is like touching god.

more on this later