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whoa, good timing 29 April, 2006

Posted by silentpyjamas in chronicle of the crazy, water tower.
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caught me right at the front of a brain ping. i've been looking at this webpage http://www.therionweb.de/giger/newyork/newyork.htm and listening to this thing here http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/61/DescenteInfinie.ogg from this web page here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shepard_tone. crazy, isn't it? i was on one of my wikipedia wanderings one night and came across this shepard tone. and then the second i listened to that sound it called to mind the h. r. giger new york series. his art evokes something in me, i don't know what it is, but i look at it and it looks like something i know. many people find it dark and horrifying but it resonates in me. the sound seems to go so well with the new york series, for a while now a story has been formulating in my mind. a story about what? i don't know, but these new york pictures in particular speak to me about something frightening and esoteric. it's like the future of humanity. form and function. something.

so i'm having a brain tingle. it came on suddenly. i woke up and it smelled funny outside. the smell itself agitates me. i would sort of like to do something about the way my skin feels, which is too sensitive. there's nothing really i can do though, and i will try not to do the things i used to.

the water tower man. eddie chen. whispered in my ear that i was gone too long. the water tower is as imposing as ever. it's darker there, though. foreboding. the sky seems boiling with rain but none is coming. it's like a deferred storm. eddie doesn't want me standing outside looking at that. he knows it scares me. i felt sort of like i almost understood what the water tower is for. but i don't. i can't really wrap my mind around it. the papers, that eddie gave me to read. the scroll-book things, i don't really want to read them. right now they seem somehow scary. like there's something in them that might make me sick. he wamts me to stay, wants me to eat and rest and sleep. he wants me to forget that this place even exists. what *is* home anyway? and what is real. eddie chen and the water tower seem real, my sister and my niece seem real, i seem real. i can't choose one.

eddie chen (it feels weird just to call him eddie. too familiar) told me a story about someone else like me. he said that one day the person never came back. it was a man named markus avery. markus avery visited the water tower and one day he stopped coming back. eddie chen said that markus avery was different from me because markus avery didn't believe the water tower was real, and he didn't believe eddie chen was real. markus avery never learned the truth about the water tower either. at least i'm still here. or there.

the water tower is like giger's art. it is mysterious and it brings such a strong feeling of familiarity. i don't believe in past lives, though i guess it doesn't say much for me since i believe in concurrent lives. what does this all mean? maybe i am just lost in that funny between-reality haze.

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